Unpredictable

Something we all need to do is embrace the unpredictable.

– Sarah Cowan

Life has a funny way of never working out how you intend it to. At every twist and turn of your life, there is always something that you don’t expect that is lurking behind every corner. The fact that everything is so unpredictable is pretty bizarre to me.
Anything can happen at any moment. You suddenly lose your trust of your best friend? It’s possible. You get the best job opportunity that you’ve been waiting for? It’s possible. You suddenly fall ill and are bed ridden for a week? It’s possible. Your partner that you’ve loved and grown with goes down on one knee and asks for your hand in marriage? Entirely possible. Or maybe you lose someone who you hold very dear to your heart in the matter of a second. It’s all possible.

Though I always anticipate 2023 to be a very successful year, these two months alone have been quite overwhelming to say the least. Not because bad things are happening. That isn’t entirely the truth. It’s because changes are happening all around me. Nearly every day, I experience some sort of change. Usually news coming from another person.

Take my boyfriend for an example. This poor man has been going through a “quarter life crisis”. Ever since December, he has been going through all kinds of mental challenges. Then of course, while being his partner, I feel like I go through it just as much as he does. His most recent change he has made in his life is that he has quit his full time job in hopes to pursue a new career. He has mentioned quitting in the past, but never gave me a timeline as to when he said he was going to do it. When he told me the news a couple days ago, I stared at him in shock for a moment.
“Wait, what?” I stared at him dumbly, pretty surprised with how this all happened so suddenly.
“Yeah, I quit my job.” Then followed the celebratory hug. He proceeded to tell me that he is happy and feels like a huge weight has lifted off of his shoulders. Which is reassuring to hear because I know his job has not been treating him well for years. So the fact that he is finally standing his ground and finding his happiness is making me happy. I am proud of him.
“Now what?” I asked after we departed from our hug.

And that is the entire thing that makes life so unpredictable. With going out on a whim and quitting your job, that only leaves you to wonder “now what?”. He has a plan and he told me all about it, which of course I support. But just the other week he was telling me a new plan and we were trying to figure things out.
It is all another change. A change that I need to adapt too.

This year, for me, is going to be filled with so many different changes. I can sense them already. With my debut book coming out this year, my partner starting a new career this year, and continuing to travel and grow as the days pass. I am already anticipating big changes for me this year. Mainly for my partner and those around me, but I know I will still feel those changes equally.
A year from now I would love to read this back and tell myself, “Sarah, the best is yet to come.” Because I am sure that is entirely true. I am sure the best is yet to come this year. And I don’t even know about what this year will bring for me. Again, all of these unpredictable changes are coming. And there is nothing I can do to stop it. All I can do is cope and adjust the negative and embrace the positive changes and events that will come my way.

Changes are a big and scary thing to me too. Major changes to be specific. Major adjustments like career changes, loss of a loved one, or anything that really will throw me off of my regular day to day routine whether it be emotional or physical. My anxiety tends to get the worst of me and make me second guess everything. Make me wonder if I am making the right decision, or wonder what my next move will be.
But I need to work on controlling that anxiety and that little voice in my head. I need to hush that voice and let my present self bring me back to reality. I need to remind myself that this year will be the best year of my life, despite maybe some of the hardships in life. I need to allow myself to not be so stressed about the future.
Realistically, there is no use to be stressed out about the future. Want to know why? I’ll summarize it up in four words for you: it hasn’t happened yet. I can reassure myself (and you) right now that there is no use on panicking over the unpredictable future. Your life already has a plan set for you. Things will happen and most of them will likely be out of your control. So if they are out of your control, that is another reason to not stress. If you can’t change the outcome yourself, just trust everything around you and trust that what’s meant to be yours will find you. And what doesn’t serve you will leave, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Rough patches and sudden changes will throw you off of your game. It’ll feel like you’ve finally stood still in a spinning world. But you must wait. With a little bit of patience, your world will stop spinning and you will be able to see clearly again. Keep your chin up and don’t let your crown fall.

I feel like I am constantly going through changes, especially in this past month or two. Everyone around me is changing, yet despite staying the most stagnant, I feel the most out of place. But this is only temporary. This feeling will not last forever and my world will stop spinning eventually.
It is also totally normal to feel scared or uneasy during moments of change, and that is something I am reminding myself on. There is a lot of changes occurring. It changes the future and it momentarily throws you off balance. There is nothing wrong with feeling. When the world is spinning, all you can do is try to keep your emotions grounded as everything changes around you.

Embracing the unpredictable is the only way to cope with everything changing. Embrace this feeling of panic and discomfort. Remind yourself that everything has a way to work itself out and that the universe has a plan for you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it does.